JJZZJ Days Of Our Lives
Such cruel reality for some
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Last night, by default, I tuned in to Channel 8 and saw that Life Transformers 2 was on air. What caught my attention was a boy out of control. He is violent, defiant, destructive, loud, bad-tempered and definitely one child whom you would shake your head till it drops. Yet, he is someone’s child and this someone loves him even though he is so difficult to control and manage. He is only 5, mind you and he is beyond all the 4 adults in the house already.
The flat was a total chaos. Bad stenches of decaying food and even dead pests. Clothes everywhere and all kinds of junk and rubbish were strewn all over the flat. The mattresses were mouldy and definitely havens for pests. The living conditions were so bad that the hosts Christopher Lee (CL) and Quan Yi Feng (Q) commented that the dirty streets and public toilets are cleaner than this flat.
It took 35 volunteers to clean the flat, paint it, refurnished it, cleared the junk and put in the new furnitures. The sponsors are generous, I must say.
The boy has ADHD, untreated and no intervention given to him. He was really out of control. When CL and Q interviewed the mother, I cried all through. When she mentioned that the burdens on her are very heavy, I know what she is talking about. When she said that she may one day go insane, I really cried for her. She has to work as her husband only works odd jobs. She has to work so that the 3 yo younger son can qualify for subsidized child care fees while the older 5 yo ADHD son can go to a children’s home as he was kicked out of the childcare since the day he bit his teacher. She has to work as she has to provided for an aged mother-in-law and an uncle who was a vigrant. She said that the best is that the two boys are in different schools so that the influence the older one has on the younger one (he copies the elder brother) is halved. The son is so violent that he slammed the metal gate till the wall chipped. He threw stools at the camera crew and hosts.
The programme ended on a good note. The flat was scrubbed clean and “detoxed”. The walls repainted. New beds, dining table and stools, repaired cabinets and lightings were added. Plus some food stocked up for the family. The volunteers tried to throw or sell as much junk as they could, much to the dismay of the owners. She is a bit of a hoarder which we can understand since they have so little and junks are valued. Oh yes, the son is referred to a professional for help for his ADHD condition. He is prescribed medication and will be having sessions at the clinic. This I believe is also sponsored. For how long and how many years the sponsorship can be given, that I don’t know. This continuous medical expenditure is definitely beyond this family. I just hope that the boy’s parents will have time to take the boy for his appointments and remember his medication.
One thing which pissed me was the way CL commented on the boy and concluded that he is like that is also due to the upbringing of the parents. Wait till he has his own son, I will see how his son turns out. If the son is #$%@, I believe he will eat his words up. Don’t forget that his wife is hitting 40 hor and older women has higher chances of having children with special needs. At least Q, being a mother herself, knows that it is really not easy for a working mum to work long hours outside and yet has to come home and take care or discipline the children. Q has learnt in this area and has definitely more wit and self-control now. I applaude her for that.
The most touching parts of the interview were when Q asked the mum if she ever thought of walking out of her family. Her reply was she can’t and she most probably won’t. She would just slog on. The other question was that if she can choose again if she can be her son’s mother, will she? She answered ,”Yes.” I am also touched that the camera man managed to film the calm side of her son and when he can be an angel, like when he went around feeding the volunteers sweets and even gave Q one despite the fact that Q was very firm with him and tried disciplining him earlier in the day.
Next week’s story is another heartwrenching one. Two elderly women caring for two special 40–50+ yo adults. I have a secret dream, that is, Zane will live as long as me.
God help my heart. God help all these destitutes and helpless. Amen.
Pure Honesty embraced
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Zoe had her 2nd art class for the year and she did a story art.
Zane was in her story. She misspelt “brother” without the “r” in her hurriedness. When I asked her if she wanted to go home and rewrite the word, she whispered this under her breath, “Actually he is a bother. He always bothers me, even when I am sleeping.” But she said this part loud enough for me to hear, “No need, mummy.”
I got her point — subtle and in pure honesty.
I was looking through her file and saw her CL mock test which was done in class. She barely passed it. Her first response was to cover the marks.
Me : Didn’t you have to show me this and I have to sign it?
Zoe : Yes, but I was afraid to show you as you may scold me. I just passed only. (meaning to tell me that she had failed to even score a band 2)
Me : I still will sign it. We will deal with this during CNY. No fault of yours. You do not have extra time for revision. You are just keeping up with your school homework and that already taken up all your free time. This year is different, I know.
Zoe was still moody for the whole morning over the lousy grade. It matters to her, I think. And she doesn’t want to be the bottom few in her class. We will take it a step at time. My hands are very full. I will see how best to go around the boys for her. Challenges exist to be conquered, this is what I firmly believe. Not to break us and make us sit around and lament till the cows come home (and nothing is done).
what’s next ?
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This is the end of the 5th week of the first school term of the year. As an experienced mum aptly puts it, when you have a school going child, your life operates on a 10 weekly basis. This is the first stretch of 10 weeks before I am entitled to a break, well, sort off.
The year begins with challenges.
Firstly, the 9yo is in Primary 3 and we call this the beginning of serious learning. Just 2 weeks into school, the girl can see and feel that the learning pace is much faster with more volume of work.
She hardly has time for leisure. Her virtual pets are neglected, they are all somewhere out there in the cyber space, hungry, dirty and lonely as the owner has yet to visit them since the year began. Her hotel is in a great mess with very little revenue. Her game sets are collecting dust. Her mobile toy is constantly crying out for her attention to play with him (Jeff). Her bed is also beckoning her to rest more on her. But she can’t. The study table and chair are the best pals now. Best pals not because they are great confidants or listeners to her, but rather she spends the most time with them.
Secondly, The 7yo is back to school to a different set of classmates, with a different pair of teachers and in a different classroom. He took 2 weeks to adjust too. Since all 6 of them are getting to know one another, mister takes the advantage whenever the 2 adults are engaged with the other 3 peers to do what he likes. He enjoys having time alone to roam the school compound. He goes to wherever he fancies till he is stopped, redirected or found. His favourite haunt, I am told, is the basketball court. Not because there are basketballs there, but there are ice-cream sticks there somewhere in a corner.
By this week, he is more settled. He still whines in the mornings when we are going through the getting-ready-for-school routines, but it is still managable. I simply just switch my ears off and just work with my hands and feet on him or with him.
Thirdly, the baby is officially a walker now. Once he knew how to balance and walk steadily since mid Jan, he has been practising and it gets better by the day.
This week he tries to run and dance, tap dancing that kinda dance. Cute yeah? He knows that shoes are for going out. He will bring our shoes to us and then bring his shoes to us to indicate that he wants to go out for walks.
With Jeff more mobile, it also means that I have less attention for the house and older ones. He is a babe who needs company, a true blue people person indeed. If he is doing something, you gotta sit next to him. The moment you walk away, either he calls you back or he follows you. He wears me out physically, whereas his brother drains me out physically and emotionally and his sister, mentally.
Fourthly, my weekly routines are very intense. I feel like a super woman on most days and I am not saying this in the boasting tone but overly-stretched tone. Sometimes I wonder why I push myself this hard. I guess I do not have much choice.
It was a strange day for me yesterday. 5 persons from the kindergarten I last taught in got in contact with me or mentioned the memories they have of that place and when I (my student) was there. For a few hours, I thought of going back to teach with Jeff while the two older children are in school. Whether this will happen, I shall wait and see. The people in that place are no longer the same team and the dynamics are very different now. I may want to wait longer until the official retirement calls are slapped on those few individuals or that they decide that it is time to put that letter on the Principal’s table.
Actually, I chose this blog title is because there is nothing coming up next. It will be this kinda arrangements and routines till year end. I pray I can endure the next 5 weeks and the 3 more 10 weekly terms. God will be my Helper. All the time. Amen. 
Zoe earned a Science Centre Trip
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on a school day.
This was the deal last night :
Me : You finish all your homework tonight. Revise your dictation. On your own if you can. I will check your work at 9 something. Wake up early tomorrow morning and so that you can get some revision done while I get Zane ready for school, feed and bathe Jeff. If by 9.30am, all is done, we can go.
Zoe : Deal, mummy. I will do all that you had said.
At 10pm, after going through her Chinese work and journal, I said, “Zoe, mummy is very tired, I have to sleep. You finish up the journal and revise your dictation. Then go and sleep. Don’t sleep too late.”
I don’t know how late Zoe slept but she was up by 7.30am this morning, cheery and sunny. She was all ready to do work by 8am. True enough by 9.15am, she was all dressed in her uniform.
I honoured my word and viola… we were out in a jiffy.
Here are some pictures taken.
Jeff walking at the Robotics Gallery.
Like real hur? Looking at the history of robots.
Zoe was amused by one of the exhibits.
Jeff was trying to run to catch up with me. Ya, I ran away from him so that I had enough distance to shoot him. He is fast now.
Zoe in front of a robot which can play a guitar.
Jeff : Jie Jie, what did you just try? I want to try also!!
Zoe : Ok, you can try, Jeff. Jeff : But but , I am trying to reach the palms with mine. (STRETCHHHHHH)
Jeff : That is my best attempt. What is the reading, Jie Jie ? Zoe : 2,3 .... 4 !!
The reading reads the pressure you exert on the metal palms.
Zoe : I show you, Jeff. Like this .... Jeff : Mummy, Jie Jie can hit 26!!
Body-less Zoe, with her head served on a platter of fruits. She was so tickled.
Zoe is reading more and more such information near each exhibit.
When Zoe was a Kindergartener, Science Centre trips were just running around and pressing whatever buttons she could see, just like those preschoolers we saw just now. I am glad these trips are more meaningful to her this year. She has grown definitely and actually she is the one who requested to go SC to learn more science. Each trip, we could only cover two wings. We signed up for the family membership. That explains why I have been so “on”. Actually, I also need to relearn Science, at her level too.
It is easier to just bring Jeff along, which is why I do not mind a school day morning trip to the SC with Zoe. Have you ever step into SC on weekends and school holidays? Madness. Many adult visitors and even more rowdy children. For me, I won’t enjoy being there on peak days. So, I am happy with such morning trips on days when Zoe has nothing to do, or rather has done all she should the nights before.
Jeff napped in the sling over lunch time. He is so tired with all the running, falling and getting up to run again that he is taking a second nap. That explains why I can blog this entry so quickly.
Finally captured!
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First were “ice cream” and “umbrella”. He ate ice cream with kor kor and he held the umbrella for mummy on separate occasions. He showed mummy these two items in cards’ form a few days later.
Yesterday was “rabbit’. He pulled out a rabbit flash card, picked out a rabbit bag and a rabbit pencil case from his siblings’ room. He also picked a book entitled “Peter Rabbit’s Adventures’ when we were at the Regional Library yesterday.
Last night, I read a stack of Chinese flashcards with him. One of them was ….
this …..
fire engine. other cards on car, ambulance etc are in this stack too.
Jeff gave me this car first.
Then he gave me this.
Then, he picked out this book on a truck from our bookshelf.
Look how focused he is ... shhhhh .... baby's working ...
That was his work. Took out all the transportation vehicles from Zane's box and parked them here.
I wonder what is on his work list tomorrow.
