Self-esteem is very important. Self-confidence is very important. Self-care is also very important. This also means loving yourself.

I find myself talking after listening more. I find myself counselling. I find myself using another type of patience.

This is a new learning curve for me and this time in the shoes called “MOM”. Not as a youth counsellor, not as a church sister or leader, not as a real life sister, not as a more matured friend, but as a mom. The whole ball game is very different. I always have these 3 words flashing across my mind each time a situation pops up : Handle With Care.

She is delicate and yet strong.

She is sensible and yet sensitive.

She is teachable and yet opinionated.

She is conscientious and yet absent-minded.

She is determined and yet perfectionist.

She has her very own learning curve and she knows it is getting more challenging and her feelings are more complicated now. She knows she has to learn to listen to herself first and at then, take in others’ words for reflection’s sake. Why ? So that she will not waver in her decisions and beliefs. She knows she need not be the same as others; do the same things, behave the same way, speak the same language and react the same way towards things, esp to get be accepted or be in the group.

Actually her learning curve is steeper than mine. I had mine. I was a “classic”. Ha ………

Jeff’s teacher taught on the transportation theme this term. He did this “work” in a very focused manner.

He could go on but was shy when he realised that I was taking pictures. After “helicopter”, he said ,”Enough for the day!” Grinned and walked away ….

This play took him an hour.

Poured the whole basket of trains and vehicles out.

Parked them properly and sorted them at the same time.

Built one brown track.

Built another blue track.

And another.

And another.

And play.

And Jie Jie joins in …………..

Why ?

Every Singaporean’s standard answer : Busy lor…..

It is true .

I was busy over the SA2 exams’ preparation for Zoe and my student.

I was busy over the year end events at the 3 children’s schools. I was writing and preparing thank you cards and gifts for their teachers. Jeff had lessons on till end of November and thus I shuttled between the big kids and Jeff’s schedules. The boys’ schools had PTC.

I caught up with a few good friends.

I read 3 Jodi Picoult’s books.

I donned on nurse’s armour and made sure I checked each boy’s temperature round the clock and the right medicine went to the right boy.

I still have to be up around 5am or earlier and most of the time, not by choice.

I embarked on a project. Tedious one but I do have help streaming in here and there. The timeline given is comfortable. Thus, no stress over this project. Anyway, I birthed this ‘baby’ and I will ‘raise’ it up.

So many excuses …………. hahahaha ………..

Ok, the actual reason is that I dislike blogging via the apple and I have not been logging in via Acer for as long as I have the apple in the hand. The screen on the apple is too small for me to blog comfortably. The readers who have a keen eye in observation will notice the short length and lack of photos. Too lazy to upload into the laptop and then to upload into the blog site, hahahaha ……

So, why am I typing away on my laptop again now? Because of the ongoing project , the laptop is in use of late …….

Yes, I do miss this keyboard, very much in fact. The apple’s keypad and auto spellcheck can get darn irritating many a times, but it is still an ingenious creation no doubt.

Will write more ……

Jeff and Teacher A

This lady is very precious to me. When I first started preschool teaching in a church kindergarten at 20yo, without my NIE training yet, she mentored me alongside (we took a K2 class each then).

Each time I needed help after school, she dropped what she was doing or preparing for her class students and took time to guide me through. I remember the many after school hours she spent training me (she didn’t have to, all teachers could leave school by 2.45pm).

The most valuable things she taught me :
1). Impart our Christian values into our charges and model Christ in the way we discipline and train them (Proverbs 6:22). Train the children lovingly and firmly. This is how I acquired the skill of talking to my children and they listen up. I never need to scream at my students for their misbehavior.

2). Have to partner with parents effectively , for the benefit of the child. I saw through her, how parents can become friends too or at least, great partners who complement your school teaching.

3). I want to be my students’ positive memory. I want my students to look back and if they can recall , they remember that their best childhood days were those days when they came to Mrs Ng or the then Miss Liau’s class .

I had the privilege to take my mentor to Hi-Tea at GoodWood Park hotel (a place Josh and I bumped into her when we were courting and she shifted to a table in the courtyard to give us privacy) last Saturday. She is such an encourager, not only as my mentor, now as my younger son’s teacher and as a mother who is 6 years ahead of me too. I can draw valuable lessons in bringing up and relating to a teen daughter.

Thank you, Mrs A Lim. You’ve been an inspiration , forever.

Thank You, Lord for her.

Amen.

I think this manner for now does not mean that I do not have faith. I am being honest. I am being truthful. I am not a dough , for you to mold into any shape and size you deem should be the way of faith. In fact, I’m quite an iron lady. I have my walk to walk with my Lord Jesus and you have yours. Will appreciate some lines of respect. Don’t impose. I don’t find those words encouraging and uplifting. I’m sure He knows my heart and He will continue to take very good care of it. Shalom.

I met her and she initiated the conversation. She is very encouraging. She says he will get better and better, just like her son and her son used to be like this at his age , she too, used to feel as frustrated as I’m feeling now.

I will continue to hope. I’ll be a liar if I say it is fine with me that he is like this and he does things certain ways, coupled with his certain habits.

I’m tired dealing all these on a daily basis. Just being honest.

Jeff : Yes ! But where is daddy?

Me : Daddy is at work. He will be back at 7pm. You have to nap now so you won’t be tired later.

Jeff : Yes, Mommy !

After he got up from his nap, he asked me again if he is going out with daddy. He wanted to play with my phone while waiting. I teased him ….

Me : Jeff, if you want to play on and on with my phone, you can stay at home and play. Mommy will go out with daddy. Jie Jie can take care of you.

Jeff : (immediately surrender my phone) Nah, your phone. I will wait for daddy at the sofa.

Josh home. Changed and told Jeff “Let’s Go”, his bad habit kicked in and started to go around to think what he wanted to bring along.

Josh : Remember last week you were too slow ? ….

Jeff jumped up and headed for the door.

Josh : Last week, kor kor. Tonight, Jeff. Next Thursday, Jie Jie. How about following Thursday, Mommy, ok?

While trying to absorb this “information”, with his pointy in the air, he looked at me in all seriousness and said, “Mommy, by one by one.”

Josh & Me : Not by one by one ! It’s one by one!

Jeff : ya, by one by one ! Bye, Mommy ! Where’s my Koko crunch ?

He tottered down the stairs happily with daddy, knowing that obedience is good for him. Listening blesses him .

Enjoy , my baby !

Just this week, I went to JP thrice. I observed many people and many things. Some observations are thought provoking while others are fleeting.

One main thing which strikes me is that Jeff is indeed very blessed since Day 1 he was born.

I have yet to resume teaching or working since I was pregnant with Jeff. He went with me everywhere I went to when he was an infant. I also strolled him to JP many times, after we sent Zoe to school. He was a very good baby. It was relatively easy to meet friends for breakfast with Jeff in his stroller.

I went JP’s Delifrance this week. I remember how it looked like before its renovation. I remember where I liked to sit with Jeff. The staff at Delifrance watched him grow, from a babe in the sling, to a babe who could sit up in the high chair, to a toddler who could sit on the sofa seat with me ………. They miss him. They asked about how he is doing in school and all that. The feeling was nice. They remember him as a happy and good baby. Yes, he was indeed. I miss those days myself too.

Then, there is Camouflage. I used to buy their T-shirts for Jeff. The wordings are very cute. I saw a new series this morning and walked in to check if they do have Jeff’s size. I bought two Tees for him. He can wear them when he is out with Daddy and Zoe. They will be very pleased.

Strollers. I saw many of these and the occupants inside. I am so glad that my baby-caring days are OVER ! So many things to bring along with the baby in the stroller, it still gives me the shudder whenever I think of those days. I am done with that. Thank You!

Mothers to young children and school going children. Now, this disturbs me. I have seen many sets of mother-children at JP. Some of them just picked kiddos from nearby preschools, some of them are on the way to walking the kiddos to school (so walk thru JP is more pleasant). Out of 30 sets, I can only spot 1-2 patient and loving moms. It disgusts me greatly to see these moms’ expressions and their body languages towards their children. The faces tell it all. “Can you just shut up?!”, “Why must you run/ fidget/ touch whatever you see/ disturb your sibling/ shout/ talk nonsense?!”, “I am so irritated by you and wish you are in school the whole day!” and “Can you give me some peace and just walk properly?” and so on. Poor children. Do they really want to behave that badly? Do their moms really know that their children talk so loudly as they think that that is the best way to get moms’ attention, even the negative one? I feel sad as I see children not treated rightly.

On the contrary, when I see those moms who give their eye contact and attention to the child with them, the child usually behaves well and speaks with his/ her indoor voice. There are usually smiles between the two and physical contact (Yes, I have seen moms to very young children and they do not hold their children’s hands, they just walk ahead.).

Moms, if you want to have children, or already have children, be good to them. They are God’s gifts to you. They have feelings. They are molded every day into the person you will see when he/ she gets taller than you.

Students. This week is exams week for the secondary schools I guess. Many students leave their schools by 9-10am. The bus I took to JP was swarmed with students. Oh my goodness, the chatter they added up in that single decked bus! They talked as though they were in their school canteen or field. Their friends were just 10cm in front of them, do they have to talk that loudly? Every other passenger gave them frowns and they were oblivious. Once the bus turned into the interchange, I made a comment loudly before they alighted, “For goodness’ sake, this is NOT a school bus! It is a public bus!” Stunned faces everywhere. What the heck! Glad I spoke. Really very irritated by such inconsiderate behaviour.

I only have 2 hrs to do whatever I want to do at JP each round. I will use an hour for brunch or a cuppa, then another hour to window shop. However, I end up with 1-2 shopping bags each round. Hee ……. Retail therapy is good, really. Try it yourself.

Then the man made this comment while still on the wheel, “and ….. Zoe is very blessed to have you as mommy.”

From the back of the car, a girlish “Yes!” was heard.

Awwwww ……………..