Growth – Zoe

All of a sudden, all the three children have grown much.

Half a year has passed and this year moves forward at an amazing speed.

At the end of last year, many friends congratulated me that I would be sitting for my PSLE this year. I welcomed 2013 with a tinge of uncertainty and anxiety, I have to confess.

Zoe had gone through two school terms as a Primary 6 student. I can testify that she is one of the most relaxed PSLE students I have come across thus far. She is not worried over the piles of homework whenever they are dished out to the class. She paces herself fairly well and I usually see her completing all that is required by Saturdays. It has been highlighted to her that Sundays are the Lord’s Day and we rest on Sundays and hopefully she gets to rest too from her work.

Interestingly, as the months progressed, I see Zoe trying to finish up her work even by Thursdays and Fridays. Her teachers at times give the weekend homework on Wednesdays and Thursdays and they are required to hand in the work on the following Mondays. Given this flexibility, I am happy to see her learn through her own experiences that starting on her work early reaps benefits.

As for this June holidays, she had PSLE classes in the first week of June, yet she managed to finished everything dished out to the class by the end of the week. I found myself constantly finding work for her to do over the next 3 weeks.

Thus, I am glad to say that this PSLE preparation year isn’t that stressful for us both after all. That said, it does not mean that there is no pressure. When Zoe received her SA1 Math Paper 2 results, she cried silently in class. She wanted to do as well as those who did well, she knows that she could have gotten the same marks as them but she did not due to two questions. It took me a while to talk her out of this disappointment. She only cheered up when she received her marks for Paper 1.

Through this, Zoe learnt many lessons. This is a good growth in the emotional aspect for this child.

Over the last couple of months, some friends asked how has the PSLE preparation been for Zoe thus far. My replies are not the usual type and I can tell that they give up in continuing the whatsapp chats. They just want me to speak the same languages as them and have a lamentations party or complaints session. I refuse to be engaged in such futile conversations. I have many other responsibilities to fulfll in the house. They can find other fellow PSLE moms to hold their pity parties, heehee …….

Truth revealed, this entry only leads me to recognise one thing. That is, the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, as Zoe and I bring our requests to Him in faith. Amen. We both are seeing this fulfilled. We are thankful.

In Your Hands, we commit, O Lord! Amen!

End of Academic Year 2012

The exams are over. The results are in. It is only the progress book I’m waiting for.

Missy did very well for Science and English. In English, it is a huge improvement. Her Math did not do as well this round. Hopefully after all the “balancing” out of percentages, she will still be in the same class next year. Just leave it in the Hands of God. His plans are always greater than man’s.

I must say this P5 year has been a tough one for the student. It takes a lot in a child to keep up with the Singapore Educational System, much more to stay in the top 10% of the cohort. Every 5 marks’ difference counts? That is the kind of pressure Missy faces in class. Thankfully, she is not one of those in class who classmates will pitch as benchmark. I cannot imagine her being hounded by those very ‘kiasu’ classmates over her marks many times after each script was returned. Our targets have always been : Doing better for the next paper if the paper’s standard is the same as the previous term’s. Or maintain the grades if the papers are more challenging.

I must say I am very proud of Zoe that she is a happy learner. She is more independent this year in her revision. She also knows what she needs to work more on. She requested that I do more Oral and Conversation practices with her. She also wanted to go through Listening Comprehension. I combed Popular Bookshop to get the relevant teacher’s guide books to work with her. These two are minor components in the English subject. I am glad to see her taking them seriously. She can see that these two components are chicken feet to almost all her classmates, thus in comparison, she will pale in performance if pitted against them. Actually her marks for SA1 for Oral and Listening Comprehensive were good. However, just not good enough for the class she is in. We slogged for a few evenings in a row over these. I told her I was only able to attend to her 8-9.30pm nightly while daddy took the boys. She knew she must not miss the time slot, thus she made herself work faster in the afternoons and sacrificed her TV programs, so that she could be ready for me at 8pm. I appreciate her efforts and maturity. I am thankful for the growth in her. 🙂

Zoe came home beaming one of those afternoons last week. She excitedly shared that her Form Teacher announced that she did EXCEPTIONALLY well for Oral and Conversation this round and she also did very well for Listening Comprehension. By that means (according to Zoe) can be almost full marks. I can only marvel at the Grace of God and the encouragement He is giving to her. He shows her lessons too, like ….. hard work will be rewarded, trusting Him to carry her through will not fail her and it is Him Who blesses her with favour of men. Zoe said that the examiner smiled very broadly at her even though she was the last few in the class register to be tested and everyone in the exam venues were all very tired by then. She ever made a joke out of her name, like why we named her “Zoe” and she is always the last one in the namelists. We teased her back and told her that we can always change her name to AAA. :p

I want to testify too, that God has helped me to be a better mom and tutor to Zoe, my growing preteen.

Josh and I are going to carve out space in the study room for her personal use this holiday. She needs her own space and has proper rest instead of being disturbed by her special brother nightly. God help us and bless us with more resources this year end, please. Thank You!

Shalom to all readers and visitors. Amen.

Our learning curves

Past few months have been challenging as we enter another phase of her growth and emotional development.

Self-esteem is very important. Self-confidence is very important. Self-care is also very important. This also means loving yourself.

I find myself talking after listening more. I find myself counselling. I find myself using another type of patience.

This is a new learning curve for me and this time in the shoes called “MOM”. Not as a youth counsellor, not as a church sister or leader, not as a real life sister, not as a more matured friend, but as a mom. The whole ball game is very different. I always have these 3 words flashing across my mind each time a situation pops up : Handle With Care.

She is delicate and yet strong.

She is sensible and yet sensitive.

She is teachable and yet opinionated.

She is conscientious and yet absent-minded.

She is determined and yet perfectionist.

She has her very own learning curve and she knows it is getting more challenging and her feelings are more complicated now. She knows she has to learn to listen to herself first and at then, take in others’ words for reflection’s sake. Why ? So that she will not waver in her decisions and beliefs. She knows she need not be the same as others; do the same things, behave the same way, speak the same language and react the same way towards things, esp to get be accepted or be in the group.

Actually her learning curve is steeper than mine. I had mine. I was a “classic”. Ha ………

Mommy, it’s over.

She muttered this in the morning.

One week of school holidays, just like that, in the twinkling of an eye, it is coming to an end.

She had a great start attending Z’s 5th Birthday at Hard Rock’s Cabana and pools. My family had a very lovely time. Thanks to EK for their invite and the very perfect weather God blessed us with.

Monday and Tuesday, she had to go back to school for choir practices. They were rehearsing for a performance at the Community Centre on Saturday. These children, ages 7-11, will be singing the Chinese song “The moon represents my heart”. I burst out laughing when I heard this, because getting young children to sing this song is a bit , errrr …….. hmmmmm ………., maybe it is the only “Moon” song around to go with the Mooncake Festival and maybe the targetted audience is that generation? The instructor is not a Chinese but he coached the children well. Within two practices, my potato princess could sing the song almost perfectly (she was given a lyrics’ sheet in soundless hanyu pinyin!). I think my girl can sing any song in any language if given ample time. She picks up melody and words very quickly, just as her Chinese name depits.

Wednesday, she fell ill. The whole day was just used to see the doctor, take medicine and sleep.

Thursday, she was feeling better, more chirpy and energetic. We went IMM for lunch and she was a great help. Daddy borrowed the car and we went from Jurong Point to Chinatown in search of an ethnic costume for her performance.

Friday, today, the last weekday of the September holidays……..

She woke up and said, “Today will be study day!” She has been very motivated because I throw in a 1-for-1 deal. An hour of Math earns her an hour of iphone games (I downloaded new free applications suitable for her age). I am amazed at her problem-solving skills. She is able to work through those very tough questions without any supervision from me! Thanks, D, for the book. She loves it as it challenges her ability.

Later ………. we gonna end the evening with an Omnimax Movie “Born to be Wild”. Usually either Josh or I take Zoe to Omni Theatre. This time we will try the boys too. At most one of us exit with the boy(s) halfway thru the show lor.

Tomorrow will be exciting. In laws are joining us to watch Zoe sing with her choir. Her best friend and family will be there to support her too. Precious.

Sunday will be the usual — church and dinner with in laws.

And the final and most challenging term of the year will begin on Monday!

Jia you, my girl! You can do it!

Puts me to shame

In Facebook , I wrote :

It took someone outside my land to tell me how good and great my land is . It helps me appreciate my land better when I see my land through her glasses.

Zoe has a best friend in school. She came from India. Her father was posted to Singapore when she was 4yo. The whole family came to Singapore and stay here since then. They are PRs by now. They live in a rented HDB flat in Jurong. Zoe has been to her friend’s place for playdates and they have study dates at my place.

Both the parents are graduates and the wife chooses to be stay at home mom for the girls. She is a very cultured and refined lady. When we first met, it was as though we both have known each other for years. She embraces Zane readily and assures me that her girls will not be too startled by his behaviour and actions. True enough. Her very well-mannered and well-brought up girls even take the time to observe Zane and try to befriend him.

Last Sunday, Zoe and I dropped by their place in hope to borrow an Indian ethnic costume from the girl for Zoe’s coming Choir performance. That gave the moms a chance to live chat (we usually communicate via smses) while the 3 girls played Monopoly in the room. I got to know that this family actually makes the effort to join in the residents’ events whenever they can. The mom shared with me that for the last 3 years, the family joined in the Lantern Festival events the RC/CC organised. They had lantern walks and got to know how this mooncake festival comes about. They mingled with the locals and not a least bit felt out of place being Indian expats.

This puts me to shame. I have been living in my estate for a good 12 years, never once my family participated in any residents’ events , walkabouts, celebrations, open houses and so on. The first reaction when invited by those neighbours who are active RC/ CC members is, “What for?”, followed by, “Not free/ Not interested.” I do not even give any consideration. And I complain that I have never met my MPs in my whole 12 years here ??!! I have never been to any Meet-the-People sessions my MPs’ team chairs and my doors are always closed. Thus …. ??

This mom shared with me in details how the family enjoyed participating in such events and how well-planned the programs are. They appreciate the efforts the organizers put in. They get to know the neighbourhood and neighbours better and they feel accepted and welcomed. Such are the efforts the grassroots and people on the ground have been trying to do to help PRs and new residents mingle into our local culture.

I told them that the school’s performing arts’ groups are invited to perform at the Community Centre’s Lantern Festival event this Saturday and they readily said that they would buy tickets to support the event and to watch Zoe perform. They did so the very next day. Wow! Zoe is very touched that her best friend and family will be coming to watch her sing and she prayed very hard that she will be totally well by Saturday.

For the first time, my family will attend such events too. Ok, partly because Zoe is performing. But also because we think Zane is better with crowds now and we can use this as a practice ground. Jeff is also older and more independent, so we guess it will be managable. We will extend the invitation to our parents too, who live a few stones’ throw away. Hopefully, they will come along with us. So, we may have a 3-generations’ outing to the CC this Saturday afterall!

God is good!